| stuck
stuck trying to comprehend
this is so called end
party one last time
never
school done with
forever
for some this is where our road ends
for others this is just a change of paths
incomplete
with my time in the bubble
blurred
seeing this end is a struggle
a part of meeh sees no end
stuck still trying to comprehend
stuck
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| confused.dontknoewutiamtodo.feelthis.feelthat.thinkthis.thinkthat.
tension.confusion.feelings.thoughts.wants.
feelings.unknown.unpredictable.gut.want.need.like.
tworoads.twopaths.onlytime.orthought.ineedtoknow.iwanttoknow.
ifonly.sooner.ifonly.quiet.ifonly.iknew.
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| this feeling left inside
iz one that doesnt subside
it comes and goes
with every spoken word
or around your mere presence
acknowledging my existence
leavez this feeling left inside
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| 4weeekzleft.
time for the mind2reflect.
the suddeness of thisstruggle.
still stuck inthisbubble.
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| to be able to see the end ...
is like looking into the future ...
crazzeee timez are ahead ...
therze no looking back ...
the more days go by ...
the more the end comez near ...
the more the future getz clear ...
this quarter has gone by reallly quik soo far ... and i am way behind
... feel like im only startin like itz the first week wen in reality
itz like the 3rd or 4th week ... so i need to catch up badd .... thangz
so far thiz quarter have been different ... thignz seem more
mechanicaly right now ... sumteimz shiet just doesnt feel right ... but
hopefully that'll fix itself ... back home in herculez @ this moment
... and the like 4th person this week told meeh i needed to update so
thas wut im doing ... everything has been really mechanical ... school
iz school ... sumtimez i go ... sumtimez i dont ... sumtimez i go and i
sleep ... soo yea ... havent read shiet ... and so im like behind a
couple hundred pagez or soo ... kamp ... kamp too has seemed mechanical
@ the start of this quarter ... pushin only study hourz ... and not
really on the ball with thingz i guess ... but this past week we
startin to get it rollin ... i hope ... in reality so far this quarter
iguess has been kasama focused ... had the choreo thang then the first
performacnce that i think iz good that itz out of the way ... now
startin to look @ PCC and our dancez fer that ... itz a weird
realization that a part of yer life is about to end ... a chapter or
wuteva metaphor u wanna throw @ it ... but damn time iz ticking ...
just gotta get it straight ... end it right ... but wutz next??? thangz
are startin to open up ... the mind is startin to brainstorm ... and
reality iz startin to settle in ... the realizaion that i really dont
knoe where i will be when this is all sed and done ... back home in
herc? or elsewhere? itz kinna scary ... i just go to santa cruz ... and
i've met many beautiful people ... people that have influenced partz of
mah life ... and people that i hope will continue to influence in the
rest of my life ... therez one thing that has eluded meeh ... i have
yet to find it ... @ timez i thought i was close ... but i guess i just
took the wrong turn ... a couple of timez ... itz a chase that is
alwayz fun and lately has been neverending ... u cant help but give up
... but the reward ... the reward is worth tha chase ...
-sean
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